I don’t believe it’s a good thing to focus on regrets. I do have a couple, of course.
- I wish I had not dicked around so much in high school. Being a nerd is actually okay.
- I wish I had tried out for drum major. I would have gotten it. I would love the memories and the leadership experience. And the memories. I loved marching band.
- I wish I had looked at going to different colleges. Different opportunities would have opened up.
- I wish I wish I wish I wish I hadn’t gone to Piedmont that night. Or I wish I had just stayed there and slept off the night before. Oh, how I wish I hadn’t gone to Piedmont. I wouldn’t have dropped acid there, I wouldn’t have driven home the next day, I wouldn’t have had that accident. I would have taken my biology final and gone back to school that fall. I would have made new friends, gotten off academic probation – barely – and gotten through school. I don’t think life would have been as good as it in now, but I wouldn’t have had to go through what I went through. I wouldn’t have memories of that night flashing back to me at my worst moments. I wouldn’t have so many fucking problems with my body that are accident related.
There is nothing I can do about any of those things. And life is good now. I get to make coma jokes. I still got into a good master’s program and my undergrad doesn’t really matter any more. I got through all that. So maybe not regrets, but only this, from a birthday card on my 21st birthday:
“I ain’t who I wanna be;
I ain’t who I’m gonna be.
But thank God, I’m not who I was.”
There’s a lot of wisdom on these screens. Check out theirs:
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9 thoughts on “I’m not what I was”