A memory I wish to save about putting Wee One to bed on night.
The tag line on this blog is “I write to stop time,” and as I get older, I find I want to stop time more and more. (Actually, I don’t know if that’s true. There were moments I loved and wanted to hold onto when I was younger. Of course, I destroyed all my journals from before the accident and those are the memories I don’t have.)
I have to begin letting go.
Right now, Wee One is in a phase when she tells me, “You need me!” which means, “I need you,” or “I want you here with me.”
I used to say that to my mom. I would say, “I wanna hold you.”
Can you believe it? Wee One is four years old.
For the past four years and nine months, I have been anxious and worried and freaking out about how I would handle having a baby and then a toddler. All that talk about terrible twos and the threenager threat. I was so worried about being a good mother to her during that time.
My girlfriends and I were talking the other day about feeling like “Whoa” about being adults, because two of us had just gone to our first parent-teacher conference.
Yesterday, Wee One showed me a new trick she learned: she can sit on the big kid swing on her bottom. I have to lift her up, but she can hold on and balance and even pump her legs a bit. I’m like, you go girl. I like pushing you, but I’m glad you can do it on your own.
I know I wrote the other day about having a challenging time with Wee One (challenging with a toddler? Who would have guessed?) but today is a new day and things really are grand.
I got gold coins today. To put in our shoes tonight. For St. Nicholas Eve. This is a big step.
Since Wee One’s arrival, I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to tell her about Santa and all the other Christmas “things.” Do I want to do Elf on the Shelf? Do I want to go all out with Santa? Only talk about Jesus? Talk about the other holidays around the end of the year?