Riding An Uncomfortable Wave Of Emotions

Today seems like it has been a full circle. This morning, I wrote this:

I heard one of those songs today about mortality, reminding me that everything will pass. Everyone will die. That nothing is permanent. Then in the end it reminded you that you are surrounded by awesome people, and tell ’em now they are the bee’s knees.

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Standing In Line At The DMV

This is the fourth line I’ve been in, and this one seems the worst.

I’ve been to this office already, but was turned away when I realized my last name was spelled wrong on my new state ID. Get that? It’s the main ID to verify who I am, and they had several pieces of verification with the correct spelling, including my then-current WA state ID, and they got it wrong.

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Checking In After A Year

Yesterday, a year ago, I wrote a post about life being not what I expected it to be, that it wasn’t how I thought it would look. In it, I wrote:

I have a tendency to set things up in my mind the way they “should” be, and measure my life against that. And it never measures up. 

I was lamenting about the last few weekends we had in Seattle, and how I had not done all the PNW things I wanted to do. (I did go to Vashon Island, though, and it was awesome.)

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Then, I remember when we moved back here to the Midwest, I had the idea that we would live at Casa In-Laws for a couple of months, but at least have an idea of a house by Thanksgiving. (Then I learned about the seller’s market.)

I’m writing this right now from my first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. This is not how I thought life would be by now. I didn’t think I’d be at Casa In-Laws so long, learning BJJ.

So one year later, I wish I could, like Cohiba last year, say that life is still awesome, but I am the mother of an increasingly independent toddler and have anxiety and my stomach cramps every day.

But things aren’t bad, and given what I’m working with, that’s pretty good.