I Didn't Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving
I Write To Stop Time
I got some news tonight. It might be nothing, it might be something.
With apologies for being so vague, I’m not ready to share the details. But it manifested itself in one of those phone calls/conversations that comes with News. News that can Change Things. Hopefully, you only have a handful of those in your life. Conversations that draw a line between Before and After.
Continue reading “Did You Color My Lenses?”I just finished watching Little Women, the more recent one. Oh, now my heart.
The 1995 one was very dear to me, and watching this one made me remember when I saw the old one-what life was like then and how different it is now.
I’m also watching it with the eyes of a mother, and the eyes of someone who has now seen 25 years pass. It’s bittersweet, and I cried ugly when Beth died.
Continue reading “Thoughts Upon Watching The Most Recent Little Women”
Dick. You should have slowed down more. I thought you were slowing down more. I thought you had seen me and were slowing down to turn and let me go and were just doing that rolling slow thing. Then I realized you fucking weren’t and were even gonna speed up. Fuck.
Continue reading “To The Man Who Almost Hit Me Tonight And Other Thoughts”A day in the life of Sahara, at least during the week.
I think I’ve told you guys about the period of time I was a door canvasser with a political action group. I’d spend five hours a day knocking on doors, and follow it with a couple of hours of drinking. Crash somewhere, maybe home. Repeat. It was a lot of fun for awhile.
During this time, spending every day with hippies and slackers, when people asked how we were we would say noncommittally, “Oh, ya know. Livin’ life.” Which meant we weren’t doing shit.
This is another post I started and abandoned, probably in late 2015.
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I found a blog that referred to going through life on auto-pilot. Before these big changes of a baby and a move, I felt like I was doing this, going through life on auto-pilot.
Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. Soren Kierkegaard
I have been struggling for the past few days, again teetering on the edge of an existential crisis, similar to the one I had in the hospital this summer. I have been dizzy with the freedom of this life, and with the finite nature of it.
Every year, I set a certain number of “challenges,” or projects to accomplish. As the year goes on, I update how I’m going on the challenges, and write about a couple of them. I would love for you to join me! I could only come up with 10 for this year, though I might add some as the year progresses.
At poignant times like this, the birth or death of a love one, a sacred chasm is open and it is easier to peer into and make sense of things beyond.
Today seems like it has been a full circle. This morning, I wrote this:
I heard one of those songs today about mortality, reminding me that everything will pass. Everyone will die. That nothing is permanent. Then in the end it reminded you that you are surrounded by awesome people, and tell ’em now they are the bee’s knees.
