Pregnancy Pack

This is a verbatim chat between me and several of my girlfriends from last summer. All four of us have kids between 20 and 22 months. We are talking about the prospect of a second child, as we had just learned “J” was pregnant.
L: “You guys, I bought a dresser last weekend. “Good for you,” you’re thinking? A dresser for our pink room. The pink room that will be our next baby’s room (which we will paint if we have another boy.). That means I’m finally ok with the notion of having another kid. Crazy!! You guys’ baby dust business rubbed off on me. 🖕😜

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The First Time I Walked On Trembling Feet – Wee One’s Birth Story

As I’ve written before, I had reservations when I got pregnant about actually having a baby, but after prayer and meditation, I began to believe that parenting was something I could do, something that I would even want to do and that I needed to have faith. In God. In myself. In her. In other people.

Her delivery was the first (the hardest?) application of this faith.

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Oh, Time, Please Slow Down

Almost a year ago, I reblogged a post entitled “I Write to Stop Time.” It is in this spirit that I sit down to write tonight, one week the night before my daughter is born.  One week. I want to stop time.  I want to freeze it now.

Wee One just dropped this week, and while the rest of this pregnancy has been a breeze, I’m starting to have some of the difficulty that other women have. Not that that’s a good thing, but I know it stems from her growing strong! Go me for giving her a good environment to grow in!

When i feel her move, I like imagining what she looks like and what she’s experiencing.  What does she think of the music she can hear? Can she feel my hand push on a spot or tickle her foot?

When my husband goes to Wendy’s, he always brings me a Frostie.  Even when I don’t ask for one he brings me one, because he says he heard Wee One ask for it.

I’m feeling the Braxton-Hicks get stronger. (Not that this is a good thing, but wow!)

I’m crying at all the schmaltzy “mommy” things like I never did before. And I’m not even embarassed.

I”m getting things wrapped up at work to take my leave – I just decided tonight that it’s going to be sooner than I originally thought.

I’m less afraid of the idea of sacrificing things for her, and even looking forward to the trade off of her snuggles in exchange for something less pleasant.

I’m looking forward to the torrent of love I get to pour over her and wrap her in.

This is the best thing I never knew I wanted, and I don’t want it to pass too soon.

Processing Change Through A Painting

It begins and ends with love.

When I first learned I was pregnant, I was lost; overwhelmed by swirling thoughts of anxiety and fear. I sought insight from dear friends and internet strangers, and one idea from these searches struck me: No matter the fear or anxiety or dread I felt, this Wee One was created by the stong and beautiful love I am lucky enough to share with Cohiba.

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They Should’ve Warned Me

I think I’ve talked before about the horrible Doom’s Day advice I’ve gotten since I learned about the Wee One coming, advice that fit comfortably into my jacked ideas of motherhood.

But then there’s this. After I started feeling her and I began to get excited about her, I started hoping that maybe it would be more like this.

Born to be a Bride

When I was pregnant, everyone was all about “warning” me about what was coming next. I walked around much of those ten (let’s face it, pregnancy is ten, not nine, months) absolutely terrified. The warnings flew at me from every angle — in the checkout line at Target, on the street, slipping my shoes on and walking out of the yoga studio. Warnings, warnings everywhere about what was to come — from the excruciating, mind-numbing pain of childbirth to the shell of my former self I was about to become once I had her. There were times I felt like a prisoner on death row, trying to force myself to enjoy some tiny luxury despite my size and discomfort, because if you asked around, apparently my petty joys would be ending pretty soon!


“Enjoy your husband now — you’ll be so consumed by the baby you won’t spend any time alone together…

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