I have had this crappy idea about becoming a mother. But before I confess to the Silent Priest of Public Scrutiny, please understand I do not mean any insult or disrespect with these ideas. This is my own hang up, I know.
When my daughter is born, I am probably not going to come back to work. We are fortunate that my husband’s income will allow this for our family, and though I think my being home with the baby will provide her with a solid base of security on which to build her life, the “Mommy” job just doesn’t feel very “glamorous” or “cool.” At the same time, I think it’s “uncool” to even feel that way, so I feel guilty on both counts. I’m hoping that talking and blogging about it will help me reframe it for the better.
Something that helped was an encounter I had with old client. As we were parting today, I told him that I would most likely be leaving to care for my daughter. He was excited for me and said, “There will always be homeless and sick people who need your help; you always can come back to this. Your child needs you now.”
How astute of him! And such a precious idea: she’ll only be one once.
Something else that helped was this on my twitter feed:
Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life..
— Epic Women (@Epic_Women) November 3, 2014
I fear that I may easily be or become one of those people who throws themselves into their work and have nothing outside of it. I don’t want to do that, and this is an opportunity to make a life.
And now I turn to you, dear readers. Have any of you felt like this before? (Please-o-please tell me I’m not alone!) How did you handle it? How do you view motherhood?
And then, of course, I may just be cool enough that, even if the job is uncool, my innate coolness will work it out. Yeah, man. 😉