I have had this crappy idea about becoming a mother. But before I confess to the Silent Priest of Public Scrutiny, please understand I do not mean any insult or disrespect with these ideas. This is my own hang up, I know.
When my daughter is born, I am probably not going to come back to work. We are fortunate that my husband’s income will allow this for our family, and though I think my being home with the baby will provide her with a solid base of security on which to build her life, the “Mommy” job just doesn’t feel very “glamorous” or “cool.” At the same time, I think it’s “uncool” to even feel that way, so I feel guilty on both counts. I’m hoping that talking and blogging about it will help me reframe it for the better.
Something that helped was an encounter I had with old client. As we were parting today, I told him that I would most likely be leaving to care for my daughter. He was excited for me and said, “There will always be homeless and sick people who need your help; you always can come back to this. Your child needs you now.”
How astute of him! And such a precious idea: she’ll only be one once.
Something else that helped was this on my twitter feed:
Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life..
— Epic Women (@Epic_Women) November 3, 2014
I fear that I may easily be or become one of those people who throws themselves into their work and have nothing outside of it. I don’t want to do that, and this is an opportunity to make a life.
And now I turn to you, dear readers. Have any of you felt like this before? (Please-o-please tell me I’m not alone!) How did you handle it? How do you view motherhood?
And then, of course, I may just be cool enough that, even if the job is uncool, my innate coolness will work it out. Yeah, man. 😉
I Didn't Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving 
Oh honey do not worry it will all pan out I promise! I stayed home with my first born for the first year or so and altho I was glad for the experience in all honesty I discovered the stay at home mom thing was not for me. I give those types credit I really do but for me personally I like to contribute to the adult work world and it makes me happier to work and in turn makes me a better mom because I’m doing what I like to do.
There’s no shame or guilt in that at all! This is why our universe is blessed with those that are passionate and gifted at childcare. Different things work for different women and what works for you is what matters.
Balance is possible and if you think about it most of the world is raised with working parents and they turn out fine. You find a daycare provider you trust and then make the time you are home quality time. Remember it’s quality not quantity! Stay home with her for a while and see how it feels and if you love it great but if you feel you’re missing work then go back and don’t feel guilty about it!
Motherhood holds enough guilt for so many things you don’t need to add this Lol. Even tho you are a parent you cannot completely lose yourself and your passions, it’s unhealthy which makes you an unhealthy parent! Try not to worry and remember you are not just a parent, you are a woman and you have to feed that side too!
For the record I’m pretty unwilling to go all soccer, mini van, mom jeans but I finally get that what makes me a cool mom and a decent mom is that I’ve learned how to balance what I want and need with parenting and I’ve learned that it’s ok and I’m ok and I don’t need to drown myself in guilt!
Oh, Sarah, thank you for your reassurance! I like your perspective: balance what you need/want with parenting.
Ive had a lot of practice 🙂
Which I’m sure I’ll call upon in the days to come. 🙂