No Hollaback Girl Here- 11 Tips for Fighting Street Harassers

Like many women, I get shit on the street. I get harassed and leered at, and it makes me uncomfortable.  It’s quite disempowering, because I don’t want that attention, but there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I hate it. Sometimes it happens among my clients at work, a homeless day program where I have a little more leverage and can tell people to knock it off. On the street, I have to be a little more…. careful.

I was going to write an open letter to street oglers, things that I wish I could say to them. But there’s nothing I could say that they would hear. There are only things I can do right in that minute.  Things that would not be aggressive or even perceived as aggressive. (‘Cause that can lead to threats.)

So I took to Google, hoping I would find some suggestions, and curated some favorites from here and here.  I would love your opinions on them.

Continue reading “No Hollaback Girl Here- 11 Tips for Fighting Street Harassers”

It’s on like Donkey Kong?

At the end of March, President Obama made April 2014 National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month.

Sexual assault: Unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling.

I’ve survived this. I’ve never said it in this way before, but I have survived this. Twice.

Those times weren’t traumatic. They weren’t violent. I knew both the guys. (Many survivors know their assailant!) I didn’t like it and I felt icky afterward; I still feel icky to think about it. Despite this, I never thought of it as sexual assault. I’ve always thought: You know, we were both drinking the first time, and he said he was really ashamed about it afterward. And the second time, well, I was “sewing my oats” that summer and that was just part of it. You got burned. I never considered it assault.

But it was.

Continue reading “It’s on like Donkey Kong?”

You Don’t Have To Be Pretty – On YA Fiction And Beauty As A Priority

Excellent analysis and super timely.  This wasn’t something I noticed as I read the book, but I have noticed the pattern as well: The strong heroine needs is really pretty, though she doesn’t know/feel it, and the hero-love interest comes along and validates it for her.

I think a lot of young women identify with that – they don’t feel pretty, either – and then they wait for a hero-love interest to prove it. ‘Cause that’s what happens in books.

What do they do when life doesn’t turn out that way?

You Don’t Have To Be Pretty – On YA Fiction And Beauty As A Priority.

Feminazi

Inspired by another blog post that appeared in my reader, (and PSA, you should get tested to see if you’re a feminist – they gave us a sure-fire way to determine that HERE.), I was reminded of a meme that helps us understand Feminism and it’s sister, Feminazi:

Except it isn’t. At all.

Hey baby… wanna fight?

Yesterday was one of those days I love and hate my work. We had a Christmas party for the clients, and it went really well – it was a lot of fun, and I was seeing some things I’m going to miss when I’m gone.  For example, the clients were in groups playing Pictionary and one of them was trying to draw “Angels we Have Heard on High.”  One of the guys said, totally serious: “Angels got high.” I was rolling with laughter, and it’s something I’m going to miss when I’m gone from here.

Then, we served lunch to anyone in the community, like we always do, and I got harassed by one of the guys. He took something I said to my boss and twisting it around sexually. I was embarrassed and angry and I put him out for the day. Things got better and I was walking to get some coffee before an afternoon meeting, and there was this guy in front of me…

Continue reading “Hey baby… wanna fight?”