1. Take a breath.
2. Step back.
No, literally. Take a physical step back from where you stand. Not standing? Can’t step? Shift your body a little bit, just a bit.
For me, that is how all conflict resolution begins.
At work, (a day program for homeless addicts and mentally ill), I am (like all the rest of the staff) poised to recognized conflict. We sniff the air, ear hustle (eavesdrop) for threatening tones, and sweep our eyes to continually survey the body language of 100 people. If we’re lucky, one of the other clients will let us know there’s a fight brewing (usually just before is blows up) so we can get there at the beginning. When I’m standing between two big men snarling at each other (something Cohiba loves, I’m here to tell ya), the best thing to do is to separate them. I tell one to leave or walk away and take the other to an office or something. and then I take a breath, step back and say “Okay. What’s going on?”
In my personal life, like if Cohiba and I are fussing, or there’s summat between us and my folks, I start the same way. I take a breath, shift my physical position, and say “Okay.” I think about the problem, what’s most important, why I”m angry with them, what my part in it might be, and what responsibility I have. By taking a breath and shifting position, I physically and mentally take a step back, and I do that as many times as I have to while I’m sorting through a problem with them.
Conflict is hard. Here are some other people’s methods for handling it:
- Rob’s Surf Report
- Conflicted | Kate Murray
- Girding our … | Beth Byrnes
- Inner Conflict | The Magic Black Book
- Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Awl and Scribe
- Torn apart by conflict | alienorajt
- Conflict | Mara Eastern’s Personal Blog
- S. Thomas Summers | National Novel Writing Month – Day II: Some Good Progress
- Wisdom From Above (short fiction) | The Jittery Goat
- Vote For Me! | It’s My Box
- The Wisdom of Solomon | JC Bride ~
- “Conflicted” | Relax
- Daily Prompt: Conflicted | From Slacker To Scribe
- Daily Prompt: Conflict | Eyes to Heart
- Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Processing the life
- Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Under the Monkey Tree
- The Argument | Wise Counsel
- Teamwork And Conflict Resolution In The Workplace | Wise Counsel
- Daily Prompt: Not Conflicted In The Least | My Atheist Blog
- Conflicted | Flowers and Breezes
- Black or White? | Journey to the Centre of My Heart
- Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
- Duncan the Sushi Roll #21 | Neva Samaki
- Conflict | Kansa Muse
- Wait It Out – Daily Prompt: Conflicted | smoke&mirrors
- Peace Pup… | Haiku By Ku
- Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Thoughts & Things
- Daily Prompt: Conflicted « life n me!
- Conflicted | Rebecca Barray
- Daily Prompt: Conflict | Chronicles of a Public Transit User
- CONFLICT AND CONCLUSION – THE BATTLE AT WHITINS POND | SERENDIPITY
- Resolving Arguments | Stuff
- Resolving Arguments | Fruit Salad
- Daily Prompt: Conflicted – the second… | IESKRIEN
- Daily Prompt: Conflicted « Mama Bear Musings