Three First Steps to Handle Any Conflict

1. Take a breath.

2. Step back.

No, literally. Take a physical step back from where you stand.  Not standing? Can’t step? Shift your body a little bit, just a bit.

3. “Okay.”

For me, that is how all conflict resolution begins.

At work, (a day program for homeless addicts and mentally ill), I am (like all the rest of the staff) poised to recognized conflict.  We sniff the air, ear hustle (eavesdrop) for threatening tones, and sweep our eyes to continually survey the body language of 100 people. If we’re lucky, one of the other clients will let us know there’s a fight brewing (usually just before is blows up) so we can get there at the beginning. When I’m standing between two big men snarling at each other (something Cohiba loves, I’m here to tell ya), the best thing to do is to separate them. I tell one to leave or walk away and take the other to an office or something. and then I take a breath, step back and say “Okay. What’s going on?”

In my personal life, like if Cohiba and I are fussing, or there’s summat between us and my folks, I start the same way. I take a breath, shift my physical position, and say “Okay.”  I think about the problem, what’s most important, why I”m angry with them, what my part in it might be, and what responsibility I have. By taking a breath and shifting position, I physically and mentally take a step back, and I do that as many times as I have to while I’m sorting through a problem with them.

Don't do this over conflict.
Don’t do this over conflict.

Conflict is hard.  Here are some other people’s methods for handling it:

  1. Rob’s Surf Report
  2. Conflicted | Kate Murray
  3. Girding our … | Beth Byrnes
  4. Inner Conflict | The Magic Black Book
  5. Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Awl and Scribe
  6. Torn apart by conflict | alienorajt
  7. Conflict | Mara Eastern’s Personal Blog
  8. S. Thomas Summers | National Novel Writing Month – Day II: Some Good Progress
  9. Wisdom From Above (short fiction) | The Jittery Goat
  10. Vote For Me! | It’s My Box
  11. The Wisdom of Solomon | JC Bride ~
  12. “Conflicted” | Relax
  13. Daily Prompt: Conflicted | From Slacker To Scribe
  14. Daily Prompt: Conflict | Eyes to Heart
  15. Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Processing the life
  16. Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Under the Monkey Tree
  17. The Argument | Wise Counsel
  18. Teamwork And Conflict Resolution In The Workplace | Wise Counsel
  19. Daily Prompt: Not Conflicted In The Least | My Atheist Blog
  20. Conflicted | Flowers and Breezes
  21. Black or White? | Journey to the Centre of My Heart
  22. Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  23. Duncan the Sushi Roll #21 | Neva Samaki
  24. Conflict | Kansa Muse
  25. Wait It Out – Daily Prompt: Conflicted | smoke&mirrors
  26. Peace Pup… | Haiku By Ku
  27. Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Thoughts & Things
  28. Daily Prompt: Conflicted « life n me!
  29. Conflicted | Rebecca Barray
  30. Daily Prompt: Conflict | Chronicles of a Public Transit User
  32. Resolving Arguments | Stuff
  33. Resolving Arguments | Fruit Salad
  34. Daily Prompt: Conflicted – the second… | IESKRIEN
  35. Daily Prompt: Conflicted « Mama Bear Musings

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