Phrases That Bug The Hell Out Of Me

I have been trying to decide for months whether or not I would publish this post.

In a previous post, I named a few expressions that I don’t care for. I want to do the same here, but manyof my friends use these expressions. I don’t mean to disrespect them, so if you’re my friend, this post is not for you. I mean no disrespect, and it might just be better if you go away.

  1. “Om nom nom”

Usually used in lieu of saying they ate, this is just an expression making mouth noises. Who likes mouth noises? If they’re spoken or not, who likes them? Like listening to saliva… <shudder>

2. “Obsessed. Ob-sessed. I am obsessed.” or “You know what I’m addicted to right now?”

No. No, you’re not. Stop that. I used to work with addicts; I’ve seen obsession. You are not obsessed, you like it a lot. Hyperbole, unless used comedically, is annoying.

3. “Epic”

Okay. This is not the Iliad we’re talking about and you’re not storming Valhalla. It may be awesome, but probably not epic. Because that thing last week was epic. And the week before.

Also, you know what I hear when you say something is epic? “What? Is? Thisss?” That hiss of a fantastic song that I know you didn’t make!

4. “Amaze balls” or “Awesome sauce”

I can almost see why awesome sauce would work (I think the alliteration?) and I use awesome possum, but for some reason, awesome sauce bugs me. Sauce. Sauce.

I put “amaze balls” in the same category because they’re two ordinary words that are put together to create… something that’s used as a word. And I can see how that would be fun. I like calling someone a douche canoe or dick stick as much as the next person, but when I hear amaze balls, I think of fiery satellites flying around. It just doesn’t work for me.




Okay, your turn.

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