Cohiba and I had a good night last night; after Wee One went to bed, a couple of cigars, a couple bottles of wine, no iPhones, no tablets… Just sitting outside talking.
The next few weekends are not going to look like I had hoped because he’s going to be leaving town for the next two weeks. I love it when he springs those trips on me. I was pretty disappointed, for I had been looking forward to the things we (really, only I) were planning. The things I was planing are really “Seattle” things.
They’re things you do when you live in the Pacific Northwest. (At least in my mind.) You go to Vashon island with friends and you go to Cape Dissappointment and Astoria and see Goonies shit. You camp with buddies in the mountains, probably Rainier. (Vashon and Rainier will probably actually still happen) but the rest of it won’t, and I was disappointed, like I have been letting the PNW pass me by.
Cohiba pointed out: He’s not living the PNW life he expected, either, but he’s got a great one doing other things.
I have a tendency to set things up in my mind the way they “should” be, and measure my life against that. And it never measures up. I think about this as it relates to my blog and blog content, thanks to this post. It made me think of Cohiba’s perspective: I have an idea for how my blog “should” look, and measure it against that. (And it doesn’t measure up, surprise surprise.)
Do you do that? How do you know what things are supposed to look like? Like, if you have a shit father, as I do, how do you know what a good one looks like?
I Didn't Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving 
Boy, this post took a dark turn at the end. I could offer some platitude about not setting expectations and just letting things happen as they will. It’s some kind of Buddhist ideal that I’ve never really bout into, so why should you? Shouldn’t we set high expectations and try to achieve them? Maybe the problem is a more common one: that you’re your own worst critic.
It did, sorry. 🙂 That’s a good point, that you are your own worst critic. I think that Buddhist ideal is a good one, I just never remember it when I need it! Should I write it on my wall or something?