This prompt is good – questions. It may be flagrant self-obsession, but I think it’s interesting and I’ll try to make it enjoyable for readers.
- What is your favorite word?
I love words and I love to play with them, so I don’t really have any particular favorite. Perhaps the word “Yes” to certain questions such as “Am I going to Spain?” Yes. “Will I be in Jamaica for two weeks?” Yes. “May I have a Bloody Mary?” Yes. “Will you publish my research?” Yes. “A raise?” Yes. “Go kayaking or stand up paddleboarding?” Yes.
What is your least favorite word?
My least favorite word depends on the mouth uttering it. In the mouth of a 17 year old girl, I hate the word “like” or “really.” In the mouth of a bad-breathed man with a toupee, I hate the word(s) “young person” or “our team.” It’s like he’s just about to pat my head or my ass (the latter actually happened one time).
- What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Art turns on my creative juices, and, now that I think about it, my spiritual juices as well. I remember in Vienna, one of the things that excited me the most was the art all around the city. There were statues on street corners and window ledges – it was so cool.
Also in Vienna, St. Stephen’s Cathedral, a place so beautiful, I wept. I was actually crying. My friend was also crying, and she was an athiest! It was so beautiful and, for me, spiritually such a turn on. I thought of the time and planning, the care, that was put into building that cathedral and I imagined the power of a God that would inspire such beautiful, thoughtful and painstaking work. How much more beautiful and powerful is that God? As I sit here and type it now, I realize that, more than likely, it wasn’t the thought of God that drove them to work like this, but the thought of money.
<pause>
Shit.
What turns you off?
What turns me off – I assume this is building on the previous question, about what turns me off creatively, spiritually or emotionally. Criticism. Criticism clamps off streams of energy, spiritual and emotional. Some criticism (not feedback, which can be constructive and helpful, given from a place of help, but criticism, cast from a place of meanness) and I shrink in like a turtle. I say “Fuck it, fuck you and your mother, you fucking fuckstick.” Aaaaand, this leads us right into the next question.
- What is your favorite curse word?
I love a curse word. 10 minutes of me ranting angrily will stoke the fires of hell for a week. I will make the most professional gang banger blush. Sailors have fled my vicinity in shock and tears. I can curse; I love it. The most useful of all of the profanity I use is also the most basic: Fuck. Let’s keep it simple, here, people. A soft beginning with a hard consonant ending – what can be more satisfying? Much has been written or recorded about the usefulness of this word in a variety of instances, and I enjoy indulging every one of them. Tone is particularly important in the use of the word, and, fortunately, I have a rainbow of tones at my disposal.
- What sound or noise do you love?
A sound or noise I love is one that Cohiba and I make when we’re close to each other, an affectionate noise.
- What sound or noise do you hate?
Mouth noises. You know the sound of someone eating, like, chewing right close to your ear? I hate that. Then there are people who sound like that, even when they’re not eating. It’s like their saliva is out of control, like there’s too much of it or not enough. And those are the people who are asked to speak on the radio or at a podium, and not only can you hear them breathe, but you can hear their tongue working around their mouths as they’re talking. They seem to make of those noises as they’re thinking. I can only assume that, as their mind works out the next feature of their speech, their tongues follow along, making little shapes in their mouths. Like they can’t think quietly. I hate those noises.
- What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I’m pretty lucky, because I’ve always worked in the profession I’ve wanted. Now I want to do less direct practice and more research, and I have a way to reach that goal.
Maybe I’d try art.
- What profession would you not like to do?
See above.
- If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gate
Hello Sweetie. (Anyone geddit?)
No, I would want God to take me to where Cohiba is, if he dies first. I would want to hear of forgiveness and acceptance, and “Here’s the reason you were there.” This is the kid who hit you. Your father’s other here and he has something to say to you (words of love and apology). You have an opportunity to apologize for your wrongs as well.