Song Stream-Of-Consciousness

Three songs that are the most important to me

An exercise in the WordPress writing 101 exercises, just type and go for 15 minutes without stopping or editing or fixing or crossing out. So here we go.

It’s hard to pick three. The first one that comes to mind is Silent Lucidity by Queensreich. That was a big deal for me when I was a kid.  When I was in eigth grade. Dad was abusive and school sucked and I was lost.  That song made me feel like maybe I wasn’t so fucked up as I thought, but maybe everything else was fucked up. Maybe I was a normal reaction to a fucked up situation. I thought it was SOO deep, and I loved the voice of the woman plainly asking, “help me.”  Because no one was helping me at the time.

The second song…. Probably Nothingman. I’ve talked about that song before – the one that played for two hours the night before the accident.  Hearing it now causes my chest to tighten and clench and I remember lying on the floor of Jeb’s house. I don’t want to think about that.

The third song, most important song to me, I don’t think I can stop and think about it right now. Probably another Pearl Jam song, Given to Fly.  That song came out after the accident, and was about a boy who was kicked around so often and he took off. I mean, that’s how interpret it.  He flew away from their abuse and their shit, and the “faceless men, well fuckers, he still stands.”  I loved that song when I was home from the hospital.

I’ve written about my three songs and that took five minutes.  I’ll write about the worst three songs and take another five minutes. My hands are starting to ramp. But the worst three songs

Blurred Lines. Not for traditional reasons, not for the objectification or sexualization, but for the skeezy “hey hey hey hey.” I fucking hate how creepifying that is.

Ooh, “Oh what a night.”  I’ve never liked that song, mostly because of high school and everyone singing along with it, changing the words to “late september back in 69,” rather than 63.  Oh yes, how clever, a reference to 69. The song still sucks.  That was the theme song of my graduation party, too, and it played a lot. That was terrible.

I’ve made it another five minutes.

I can’t think of another song, but I wonder about doing this every night, about 15 minutes of this every day. Should I give myself a focus for the 15 minutes? Like I did today? Or just write about the day? Write about my thoughts? Write about how much I love the heat and bicycling in it?

I want to learn how to write and focus… Never mind. I don’t want to write about that. Still thinking of a third song.  Probaby something squawky and oily, like ’70s is. Something that is adorned with a handlebar mustache and shiny shoes. Feathered hair.

13 minutes. I’m done.