Some of the, sometimes, worst things about this adulthood trap are the deadlines that follow us around. Some of them are smaller and less pressure than others, currently, I am under the most pressing deadline of my life: the birth of my child.
When I’m faced with deadlines of anything, I line it up in the context of all the other things that need to be done before the actual deadline. I think I do it to make it easier for me to get there-to take pressure off. In the case of the birth of my Wee One, I’ve had a list of “milestones” that have separated my present day to the day of the deadline.
So far I’ve passed these milestones:
End of Summer and beginning of football season without beer and cigars. Accept I’m having a child. Morning sickness. End first trimester and be able to eat normally again. Start to really and truly show, not just look like I’ve eaten a lot. Look at places to move (and decide not to), start to feel her move around, Thanksgiving – this was a big one. Begin to think about getting stuff for a baby. Learn more about breast feeding – facing my discomfort about it.
Future milestones: For the next 11 weeks before she comes, I’m counting down other assumed or real milestones. We’ll have Christmas. New Year, our first baby shower, ready the apartment? Step-dad’s birthday. My belly-button becomes an outie? Another baby shower. My birthday. Mom’s birthday. I leave work? She’s born. (I know this may not totally work out this way, but let’s assume it does.)
Each of these milestones kind of insulates me from the fear of the big event itself, and every time I realize that insulation is getting thinner (i.e. an event passes), I have a moment of panic. Remembering my next milestone just helps me overcome that panic. When the last one comes, I will, hopefully, be ready.
And even if I’m not, I’ll get there real fast. 🙂