It’s time for a Tell the Truth Tuesday, though a little more serious than the last one, about a lesson learned and hopefully not forgotten.
There was this mother up here I was jealous of. First of all, she’s hot – she looks great. She’s smart – a microbiologist and getting published in textbooks. She’s active, hiking and biking with her son all the time. But the real kicker was her son, who is a little younger than Wee One.
He was walking really early.
I would look at her pictures and videos on Facebook and think I was doing everything wrong. ‘I should do x, y, and z more. It’s not good that Wee One isn’t walking – I should do…something.’
On Mother’s Day, Wee One first walked independently, and now that it’s passed, I feel ridiculous for feeling anxious that she took her time. It wasn’t even super late! It just seemed like every other baby was walking before her.
I hope this is a lesson that stays with me in the days to come. Wee One is a child of me and Cohiba – she will do things when she is damn good and ready; at her own pace. The joy on her face when she walks makes my heart soar; I wish I could express delight like that. I think that’s part of the beauty of little people, that they’re so honest. Not that she’s walking, I look at it and see what a big deal it *isn’t.*
Moreover, this is not the last time our child is going to do things in her own time, and I need to practice acceptance of her. Imagine if I put pressure on her to do things like this, which I know some parents do! I would hate reflecting my own shame onto her: She is exactly as she should be.
So, the next time I feel jealous in a situation like this, I hope I remember my feeling right now, embarrassed, like I’m standing on a mountain with my pants down.
Have other parents experienced this?
3 thoughts on “Get Thee Behind Me, Jealousy!”
Oh yes. Exact same situation. And the looks, the questions… “She is not walking? Oh mine is running.” I hated that. We need to learn from our children. They don’t compare themselves to others, they just are, totally careless and perfect.
Ooh! Just now seeing this! This has actually been on my mind lately (letting her develop on their own time) because I’ve been thinking of her talking and how she’s not really forming any words. I’m afraid I’m doing something wrong and not talking to her enough, or not recognizing when she’s trying. But yes, she just takes joy in being herself and exploring, and she communicates her own way.
It’s the extraordinary skill and effort some other parents employ to make you feel this way: somehow it is vital to their sense of superiority that they have superior children. Sadly, we don’t choose our parents. do we?