Christmas Songs That Suck

If you are in the United States, you have been hearing Christmas music since probably the middle of October, except for those few stalwart stations that refused to play it until after Halloween, (which is still a month too damn long in my opinion). By the time the blessed day arrives, we’re sick of most of the music.

To be fair, there is a lot of crappy christmas covers to go around. Everybody and their brother wants to get in on the holiday cash cow share their personal favorites with fans. Justin Beaver, New Kids On The Block (and I came of age with NKOTB!), Christina Aguilera, Destiny’s Child, Aqua…

Its been a long time since we’ve had a Top Ten Tuesday around here and this it a perfect opportunity to vent about the songs that suck.

 

  1. Santa Baby, Eartha Kitt. I hate putting Eartha Kitt on this list, and to be fair, the problem isn’t her, but sexualizing Santa. That’s gross! You know what other song was like that?
  2. I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, Jackson 5. Just… No.
  3. Baby It’s Cold Outside. Speaking of sexual holiday songs, I want to like this song, because some versions are really well sung, but asshole! She said no – stop!
  4. Last Christmas, Wham! <shudder> The breathy way he sang “special” is horrible.
  5. Christmas Time (Is Here Again), Beatles. This song falls into the “Where’s the Humanity” category that seems to be run through several popular christmas songs, like:
  6. Happy Christmas (War Is Over), John Lennon and
  7. Where Are You Christmas? Faith Hill. Whenever I hear this song, I expect Christmas will pop up from behind the couch and say, “I’m right here!” Or, if we listen to the Beach Boys song, we know that it comes this time each year.
  8. All I Want For Christmas – Mariah Carey. Then there are songs that just suck or, in this case, are overplayed.
  9. The Chipmonks christmas song. I don’t remember what it was, and I didn’t bother to look it up, but I never liked the Chipmonks and so don’t like that song.
  10. Little Saint Nick – Beach Boys. “Christmas comes this time each year.” Is an actual lyric. Grasping for much?

And actually, I don’t know why these songs are played so often. As I was looking into things, it seems like a LOT of people hate these songs. Especially when there is SOO much other good music out there, and I’ll talk about that later. Perhaps these aren’t the worst, but the best of the actual worst…

Which songs irk you? And not just Chrismas, but Hanukkah or other winter celebration songs?

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