Since marriage…

It’s almost two months that I’ve been married, and last night I did a memory book of the detritus I had collected during wedding trip in Disney World. (Yeah – I’m a Disney bride.) Now I’ve got my Sherlock pipe and I’m ruminating on things that are different now.

One big change since I got married is that people respond to me differently. When I called him my “boyfriend” or “fiance,” they responded less seriously to it than when I talk about my “husband.”

For example: “I need to talk to my boyfriend/fiancé” about a decision means they’ll keep talking to me about it. When I say, “I need to talk to my husband” about the same decision, they shut up. Like they respect the role of “wife” more than “fiancée” or “girlfriend.”

Anther difference, and I’m sure this is normal, is that I’m thinking longer term.  Will we buy land? What kind of house will we build?  Where? Can we raise a family there? The cool thing is, I’m thinking about this stuff, and I’m not freaking out. I’m a bit of a commitment-phobe, so this is a big deal.

I know yet even more what I want: I want to build a tiny house. I want to write more, a book. I want to live more in faith.  I want to act in the Renaissance Faire. I WANT to do these things, even though I may miss on something better that comes along. For so long in my life I’ve been drifting around hoping to catch the Better Thing that people stumble onto, but now I don’t think that’s real. I don’t think Something Better will come along. Maybe it’s all Better. It’s just a choice.

Moreover, I’m not afraid to try things because I know my husband is behind me, is with me. Which brings me to my last point: I’m not alone anymore. I was so alone before him, and I didn’t even know it. What a wonderful discovery, and even better that I can make it with my Cohiba.

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Neither of us are alone anymore.

Update: I also second everything my Texan sister said. (Except for the surgery on the honeymoon part – that sucks.) How funny that we posted this on the same day!

A way of keeping my wedding memories

As I talked about in my 36/36 challenge, one of the things I wanted to do this year was scrapbook my wedding memory stuff.  Not the photographs, per se, but the cards and other little odds and ends we had gotten over the course of the (barely) year that we spent planning it. So really, it’s a memory book, not a scrapbook in the traditional sense.

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Inspiration Engine 12 – Prompts

This is a weekly post I do to highlight blogs or bloggers who have inspired me in some way during this week – another car on my imagination train!

This week’s inspiration focuses mainly on prompts, suggestions of things to write about and do.  The first I have already explained, the post  that inspired the 36/36 challenge by Lady Kell of Kincavel.  I’ve already determined my own things to do this year (wrote about here) and I look forward to getting to them!  Wanna join me?  It’s easy – make your own list and then tell me in your comments so I can cheer you on and get inspired by you!

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Inspiration Engine 11 – PhD, Stories and Maps

This is a weekly post I do to highlight blogs or bloggers who have inspired me in some way during this week – another car on my imagination train!

As you may or may not know, to make the most of my interest in relationships,to stimulate the research corners of my brain and to give legitimacy to my findings, I have been trying to get into a PhD program for the past two years. I have been turned down from 18 programs in total, both in social work and in social psychology, and I’m bummed.

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It’s on like Donkey Kong?

At the end of March, President Obama made April 2014 National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month.

Sexual assault: Unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling.

I’ve survived this. I’ve never said it in this way before, but I have survived this. Twice.

Those times weren’t traumatic. They weren’t violent. I knew both the guys. (Many survivors know their assailant!) I didn’t like it and I felt icky afterward; I still feel icky to think about it. Despite this, I never thought of it as sexual assault. I’ve always thought: You know, we were both drinking the first time, and he said he was really ashamed about it afterward. And the second time, well, I was “sewing my oats” that summer and that was just part of it. You got burned. I never considered it assault.

But it was.

Continue reading “It’s on like Donkey Kong?”

Inspiration Engine 10 – History and Social Work

This is a weekly post I do to highlight blogs or bloggers who have inspired me in some way during this week.

This has been a fun week for me!  As a burgeoning Rennie preparing for several weeks of being a Scottish storyteller, the blog Historically Speaking is highly relevant to me. In particular, he includes a post about what he wishes reenactors would start or stop doing, and another about best practices. (From that, I took: Research and Wash your clothes the way it would have been done in the period.)

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NSFW

After a short conversation about a klassy car parked outside the office with the pink words “Ms. Thickness” stickered across the top of the back window, my button-down supervisor says to us quietly:

“Just for your own safety, don’t Google “Ms. Thickness” while you’re at work.”

Oops.

Inspiration Engine 9 – Writing Historical Fiction

This is a weekly post I do to highlight blogs or bloggers who have inspired me in some way during this week.

It is a short list this week, as this one blog has given me a whole week’s worth of inspiration. Thanks to NaNoWriMo 2013, I began seriously working on writing a work of historical fiction. I have become a ready sponge for information and hints about writing it well.

I stumbled upon the blog  A Writer of History by M.K. Tod and found a wealth of information. Not only insight from the blogger themselves, but also interviews with other writers of historical fiction, and it was awesome to read about their process and what advice for burgeoning authors. The blog also includes as surveys of readers of historical fiction, to learn what they like and why. Finally, in the blogroll and on separate pages are a wealth of resources about writing, historical fiction, and the WWI and WWII era, in particular.

Thank you, M.K. Tod, for the blog, and that you, reader, for reading about it!  What do you think of this choice? Do you know of or have other blogs that specialize in this?

Inspiration Engine 8 – Grunge and Writing

Inspiration Engine is a weekly post I do about blogs that have inspired something in my this week.

1. This post, “Good Music is Timeless” by Icepicks and Nukes. A thousand times yes.  It’s kids today reacting to Nirvana. It’s awesome and reminds me of how I felt when I was that age, when I first heard Smells Like Teen Spirit or, even more powerful, Black, by Pearl Jam.  One of the kids in the video said that rock has skewered into two waaay different directions right now, and not good ones.  I’d had that observation, but couldn’t tell if that was just me getting old or what. It was nice to be reinforced. 🙂

2. This post, “On Sherlocking,” by Drew Chial, focuses on an exercise to one might to to improve their writing and their character development. In my ever so humble opinion, good character development is right under there with “good writing” on the list of things that makes a piece good. I appreciate this suggestion to flex those muscles.

What do you think of these post?  Were there any that inspired you this week?