It’s almost two months that I’ve been married, and last night I did a memory book of the detritus I had collected during wedding trip in Disney World. (Yeah – I’m a Disney bride.) Now I’ve got my Sherlock pipe and I’m ruminating on things that are different now.
One big change since I got married is that people respond to me differently. When I called him my “boyfriend” or “fiance,” they responded less seriously to it than when I talk about my “husband.”
For example: “I need to talk to my boyfriend/fiancé” about a decision means they’ll keep talking to me about it. When I say, “I need to talk to my husband” about the same decision, they shut up. Like they respect the role of “wife” more than “fiancée” or “girlfriend.”
Anther difference, and I’m sure this is normal, is that I’m thinking longer term. Will we buy land? What kind of house will we build? Where? Can we raise a family there? The cool thing is, I’m thinking about this stuff, and I’m not freaking out. I’m a bit of a commitment-phobe, so this is a big deal.
I know yet even more what I want: I want to build a tiny house. I want to write more, a book. I want to live more in faith. I want to act in the Renaissance Faire. I WANT to do these things, even though I may miss on something better that comes along. For so long in my life I’ve been drifting around hoping to catch the Better Thing that people stumble onto, but now I don’t think that’s real. I don’t think Something Better will come along. Maybe it’s all Better. It’s just a choice.
Moreover, I’m not afraid to try things because I know my husband is behind me, is with me. Which brings me to my last point: I’m not alone anymore. I was so alone before him, and I didn’t even know it. What a wonderful discovery, and even better that I can make it with my Cohiba.
Update: I also second everything my Texan sister said. (Except for the surgery on the honeymoon part – that sucks.) How funny that we posted this on the same day!
2 thoughts on “Since marriage…”
I found people judged me for saying things like “Sorry, I can’t do this weekend, I’m going on a trip with my boyfriend and his family.” Like because he was my boyfriend, it didn’t matter.
I tried to bring him to a couple of office parties, but it was always kind of turned down. Because he was my boyfriend.
Then we got engaged. And he was allowed to come to all the office parties. It was so weird. Literally, one week he was not allowed, the next week he was invited.
There is a HUGE social difference between “boyfriend” and “fiance” and “husband.” A small (ok, large) part of me is so glad I’m married now and don’t have to deal with it anymore.
Also, I’m SUPER jealous you’re a disney bride. How awesome!
Totally! And it’s not like I’m more committed to him because he’s my husband instead of my boyfriend/fiance. (Except, you know, legally.) It just seems like people respect the institution of marriage and they respect someone in the institution. I never expected this kind of difference, but I like it. Do you think men have to deal with that too?
Have you been to the Disney World in Tokyo?