If we were having coffee, this would be more of a phone meeting. Wee One and I are back in St. Louis with my folks for a couple days. My cousin’s bridal shower was yesterday, and WO and I went to it. What a long-ass day it was, but I’m glad we made the trip.
It’s the first time WO met most of my family, all save one person, and if I’m frank, there’s a good chance she’ll never see most of them again. One of the people who was there, I just don’t want her around WO. I remember her touching me inappropriately, even as recently as 2013. And WO is so curious and happy and loving, she says hi to everyone… Just no.
Continue reading “Weekend Coffee Share #44”
There is a Hallmark show, When Calls The Heart, I started watching in Seattle that I pretty much only got into because my girl friends did, but I stayed with it because I liked it and I could watch it in front of my Wee One without worrying about what she saw or heard.
Continue reading “Some Questions Are Better Unanswered”
I Can’t Stay Mad at You
My birth father doesn’t know about the Wee One. At least, I didn’t tell him, though in these days of internet, he may know. His first grandchild, and he doesn’t know – we haven’t talked in 14 years. In the past, the few times we did talk, I was resentful of him and the years of abuse, but I was also hopeful for reconciliation. Then, when his current wife was reaching out to me, (a really fucking interesting series of conversations there),
Continue reading “Pearls Before Swine”
I am sharing a link to this article because I don’t know that I’ve ever read it put into better words, the way it feels, or rather, the way it feels for me now: The abandonment and abuse of my birth father. I wonder about him and if and how I tie into his family. Can I lose something I don’t know if I had?
…that is the most terrifying thing she has ever learned. If the only man she ever truly needed left when she was not done needing him, it is fair game for anyone else to decide it’s not worth it. For anyone else to decide she’s not worth it.
“Always have a back door” was been my unofficial motto, like, forever. Never be trapped. Never be in a place that I can not handle or get out of on my own. Even after marriage, the lack of trust still crops up, sadly.
Here’s a link that works.