In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Futures Past.”
Last night, my dearest Cohiba told me that I helped him make his dream come true. Moving out here with him, doing a job he loves and being in a place he feels challenged and supported has been a dream that has so far not been realized. It made me feel pretty special, honestly, and happy to know he feels so loved.
Today’s prompt asks us about what we wanted to do as children and how far or close we are to realizing that aspiration. When I was a kid, I wanted to be the first woman to go to Mars. I thought humans would be there already but only men would have gone. I wanted to change that. (A feminist at six years old!) Poor experiences with math later turned me off that idea, coinciding with a growing awareness of the many ways I could promote justice.
I did that for awhile, and burned out. I had a baby. I moved across the country. I didn’t really plan for these things when I was creating a “dream” for my future, and when Cohiba talked about a “dream coming true,” I began to question if I have a dream right now. Beyond getting the Wee One on a schedule, getting back out on my bicycle and traveling again, I don’t think I do.
I remember when I changed this blog into Creo Somnium (Create and Dream), part of the reason was to help myself siphon and sort through this mind and find something that could energize and fill me like Cohiba is filled right now. I know that creating gives me energy and feels me with a soaring hopeful possible feeling.
I think my dream now is to write. It may have always been, really, and I feel weird actually admitting it. What’s getting in the way of that? Fear. Shame. And SO many people try for it, people who are smarter than me. But there it is. I want to be a writer.
The Wee One is awake now, having slept for 40 minutes. This is the first day of getting her on a schedule, and so far, it’s coming along pretty well! 🙂