There’s A Stranger In My Living Room

“What, just explore this apartment?  The people who live here won’t mind?”

“Oh, they don’t know. I just need to describe what I see. Alright, sure.”

Holy shit, don’t these people clean? I would hate to live in a place like this.  Ohh, but that sign is funny. “Hippies use the backdoor.”  Let me pick around all these shoes – oh, I guess I should take my own off.

Okay. Let’s get through this quickly.

Damn! Look at those bookshelves! Oh, but first – ooh, a bar! Should I have some whisky or rum? Nice.

Okay, I can’t even see what’s on the coffee table, there’s so much crap on it, including some old bags of take out. Yuck.

Then under it, ooh, Legendary! They’re tabletop gamers!  And what is that, cross stitch?  That’s a pretty picture.

There’s a baby swing, so clearly there’s a baby here. Aw, look at that sweet blanket. There’s a copy of What to Expect The First Year, and several pacifiers. One on the floor-ew. That’ll need to be cleaned.

Wow, nice rug!  I love the colors!

Jeez, more take out? Don’t these people cook?

Damn, look at these paintings and pictures. Picasso, a map of the Caribbean, several – wait a minute – are those swords? Is that a rifle?! Three rifles?! What the hell? What kind of people live here?! And how do they have this around the baby?! They – no, they aren’t home. Let me take a closer look. What kind…? Oh! They’re reenactment weapons! Okay.  

Let me get to these book shelves. 60 Hikes for 60 Miles, The Motorcycle DiariesInto Thin Air, Deadpool comics, all of Ian Fleming’s books, place guides… I would read these.

Ooh, pretty statue.  Nice smelling incense.

What the hell kind of exercise machine is that? What would it even do?  It just looks like a car battery inside an archery bow.  Do you stand on it? “Skier’s Edge.” Whatever. 

Now THAT is a huge blessed television. Sit on that leather couch in style and watch this.  In fact, I think I will. 

Aaah. This is nice. Maybe I do like it here.

It reclines! Damn! This couch reclines!  I’m never leaving! Where’s the remote?  

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Clean Slate.”

Okay, your turn.

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