Dancing with Fireflies posed the question: Where did you find love? I know I’ve written about different parts of me and Cohiba coming together, but I don’t think I’ve shared the story in it’s entirety. And it’s a really good story. 🙂
I don’t remember our first meeting. That may not actually be a good beginning, but I was 14.
In a whirlwind few months, I had started high school in a new part of town and joined the marching band. I know that I saw him there in the trombone section, I may have even talked to him during marching season (the fall), but I’m not sure. That spring, our band took a trip to Dallas, and I’m pretty sure I remember talking to him then.
We had two more years before he graduated. He was shy, so a lot of out time talking was spent with him looking at his feet, but we did talk; we were friends. Through band, we shared some of the same friends (though outside of band, he was way out of my league: A varsity wrestler, honors student, a National Merit scholar – I wore my wallet on a chain).
My sophomore year, he went to homecoming with my then best friend and we all went in a group together. Several weeks later, when she wanted to break up with him, she had me do it. (Remember stuff like that?) He came to my 16th birthday party. We went out for ice cream together once. (I didn’t know that was a date, but it was.) One day, his senior year, he gave me a ride home from school and hung out at my house a little bit. My mother came in the kitchen where we were hanging out and started talking to him about it. When she found out he didn’t have a date, she turns to me: “Hey! He doesn’t have a date to prom!” I said, “Well, mom, if you like him so much, you go with him.” I didn’t know he was planning to ask me to prom that day. After my answer, he didn’t.
He graduated and went his way. I went mine. That was in 1995. In the fall of 2008, love found me. I got an email from classmates.com that he had written me over the summer. I didn’t think I would be able to actually see the message, but I could. I thought, Cohiba? Oh yeah! The trombone player! I wrote him back, feeling so rude since it had been so long and doubting he would even see it. He wrote me back several days later, and then began a series of emailing that went on every day, longer and longer emails. Then we exchanged phone numbers and talked for six hours the first and second nights.
He was working for GM at the time, just before they went under, and knew change was afoot. He was thinking about moving to either Phoenix or St. Louis, and decided to move to St. Louis where I was. <blush>
We did not get together at that point, however. I was freaked out by this adult relationship. Being with him would mean I would have to be vulnerable with someone. After seeing what my father did, that was risky.
I went to counseling and prayed about it, and finally felt I could move forward that next spring.
Cohiba is the kindest person I’ve ever known – even as a teenager. (Who would say that about a 16 year old boy?) He’s smart, makes me laugh, is both challenging and gentle with me. He’s sweet with Wee One and fully vested in our family. I trust him more than I have ever trusted anyone.