20 Years Later

Today is the 20th anniversary of my car accident.

When I got out of the hospital back then, I wanted to “get so much better” that no one would know anything had happened. I think I meant that I would not know it happened. That I couldn’t tell. That I would forget. I was afraid I was permanently damaged and would never amount to much.

It’s probably not surprising, but I never forget about it. But what I didn’t expect is that I would stop caring so much. Of course I can tell it happened, I’ll never forget, but I just don’t care.

I still have double vision, but I don’t care. I can’t touch the toes on my left foot because of injuries sustained in the accident. So I found another way to wash my foot. I have trouble with short-term memory and lost memories from that time in my life. So I write stuff down. I do have some permanent impairments, but I still amount to as much as I would have without the accident.

It’s who I am.

And I don’t care who knows.