“Mom! I need you.”

Over night has been rainy, but it’s now dry enough to sit on the pathway in my neighborhood. It’s chilly for August. I’m in long sleeves.


My daughter just called me, but I think she got distracted. We went on a search for mud this morning; my headache demands an outing with little exertion.e

Now she’s sitting under a tree, digging. She’s wearing a new dress we got yesterday that is, miraculously, not really getting dirty. What a good play dress.

There’s a horse farm across the street, but they have corn growing this year, too. When I look up over the fields, the broad leafed trees behind them and a mist settling on them, I always get lost in imagining flying over them or being surrounded by them. Like that bird calling right now.

It has been 23 years since the accident. 23 years, today. What a 23 years.

Now she wants me to shake bush limbs over her head to pretend it’s raining on her. Those grey clouds tell me real rain is coming again.

Hello! Opportunity Is Here Knocking!

The sure way to miss success is to miss the opportunity. Victor Chasles

Write about the best opportunity you’ve been given and how you made the most of that opportunity.

The best opportunity I have been given was services with Missouri Vocational Rehabilitation. Voc rehab is a program run through the state department of education, and it is one that is meant to help people with disabilities live and work independently.

In the early days after the car accident and coma, when I was in rehab for head injury, I was offered the chance to apply for assistance through that program. At the time, though, I was so scared of being “damaged,” that I didn’t even want to acknowledge what was going on with me. I was fine. It was fine. I could handle it. Just let me get back to school and it’ll be fine. That was my mindset.

Acceptance was hard to come by.

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Mothering With Brain Damage

This winter, since I had some time to get “settled,” and I am in Ohio and its cold, I found Wee One some classes and activities. Not too many, because I don’t think its right for her, but some. We really liked The Little Gym in Seattle, but it’s really far from where I live, and I found a tumbling tot class nearby (and much cheaper!)

WO loves going, watching the other kids, climbing on things, and the trampoline. She is working so hard to jump these days and loves the trampoline, especially when I get on with her, hold her hands, and jump with her. To be honest, I like it, too, until I get off and then I feel it: my head injury.

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How Many Rocks Will Fit?

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On Tuesday, my 17 month old was putting rocks in my hand. After about 10 or 11, they started falling, so she put new ones into my other hand. I thought about this post as I sat in the sprinkling rain and switched from watching her concentrating little face to watching the top rock in my full hand, barely balanced in place. It tipped to either side easily if I moved my hand, so precarious was its perch.

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