I Didn't Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving
I Write To Understand. I Write To Stop Time
There is a song over which I have puzzled for 20 some years: “If You Could Only See” by Tonic, and I heard it again when I went to that 90’s band a bit ago. Hearing it, I remembered a debate I had with my former fiance about its meaning, thus reopening a question
Continue reading “If You Could Only See My Meaning, Will You Like Me More?”
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If we were having coffee, this would be more of a phone meeting. Wee One and I are back in St. Louis with my folks for a couple days. My cousin’s bridal shower was yesterday, and WO and I went to it. What a long-ass day it was, but I’m glad we made the trip.
It’s the first time WO met most of my family, all save one person, and if I’m frank, there’s a good chance she’ll never see most of them again. One of the people who was there, I just don’t want her around WO. I remember her touching me inappropriately, even as recently as 2013. And WO is so curious and happy and loving, she says hi to everyone… Just no.
As I reflect upon it, it’s interesting to think about how my morality has evolved over time. When I was younger, a lot the whole of my morality was based around people who have hurt me. I did not want to be like the bullies at school, or like my father. So I was going to be fair and have integrity.
This is the fourth line I’ve been in, and this one seems the worst.
I’ve been to this office already, but was turned away when I realized my last name was spelled wrong on my new state ID. Get that? It’s the main ID to verify who I am, and they had several pieces of verification with the correct spelling, including my then-current WA state ID, and they got it wrong.
I’m writing some blog posts in advance, to make it easier to post every day (it obviously hasn’t totally worked) but as I’m thinking about things, ideas are popping up like popcorn and bouncing up out of nowhere. It reminds me of something I did for Cohiba.
Whenever there is an eclipse, I like to imagine it is part of a grand cosmic play that the universe
Inspired by an old friend I’m connected with on Facebook, I’m going to so this “30 Day Music Challenge.” But instead of 30 direct days, they will just be Monday’s. Music Mondays! (Like music is only good for one day – psh.)
If we were having coffee, we would reflect on the passage of the summer. I didn’t think of OH as very much farther north than St. Louis, but it’s been much cooler. It also didn’t have the humidity; I think I underestimated the effect of the river confluence right there in STL.
But more important than the dumb weather, I am having such a joyous time with Wee One. I love watching her play and enjoy the summer with her: Splash pads, ice cream, digging in the yard, sprinklers, climbing trees…
If we were having coffee, I signed her up for a one morning program; I hope it will help with her speech. She’ll be around other little kids for that morning, and I’ll get to write. I’m also thinking about signing her up for Tinkergarden, but I’ll be with her through that. We went to a group session for someone who wants to lead it, and she had fun.
We wouldn’t talk politics because we each know what the other thinks. Our stomach’s have been in knots since November 8th of last year. We knew this would happen. We knew it would be a shit show. And even when the current president is out, as I believe he will be within the next year, the VP is a greater nightmare, in my opinion.
Which makes a good summer even more important.
This blog post about, as the book calls it, the Precious Present, prompts me to reflect on and write about a small moment with Wee One today. It was just before I was going to lay her down for her nap, and we were laying on the bed together, singing songs.
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Describe a moment if your life when your heart was full and overflowed with joy.
I Didn't Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving 