My grandma’s dying. Not just in the sense that we’re all dying, but she’s ready to go now. She’s signed her DNR papers. She’s getting a last communion tonight. All her daughters are with her right now. I had called my mom for details and was kind of regretting not being there to see grandma before she goes, and mom offered to let me talk to her. I felt a surge of sad gratefulness that I could talk to her again. But what would I say?
Inspiration Engine V. 2 – Coffee, Arthritis and Writing
The Inspiration Engine is a weekly round-up I do of blogs or posts that inspired me in some way this week. Please let me know what you think of my finds or tell me some of your own!
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A Groundhog Day Baby
As the seconds and minutes of February 1st tick away, I edge ever closer to that threshold to the “wrong side of 30,” which I cross at midnight. February 2nd is my birthday, and I will be 36. Closer to 40 than 20.
Ten years ago, when faced with a similar, though younger, reality, I was really upset. There I was, closer to my 30s than my teens, my finger slipping ever father from the pulse of coolness. I had a college degree, yet no discernible use to which I had put that degree. I was again living with my parents. I was losing the good parts of youth without getting the benefits of age.
Inspiration Engine Vol. 1 – Healing and Creativity
A series or round up of the blog posts I find most inspiring this week!
1. My attempt at a fairytale-esque story, from Fairytale Corner. It seems like this is a relatively new blog, but I think it holds a lot of promise and I look forward to what it will come out with. This post, according to the writer, is their first attempt at adapting a fairy tale, and I think it’s brilliant. Simple, well written and well paced, and inspiring to me as I think about writing fiction.
2. Inspire Your Creativity, (almost made for this round-up, eh? 🙂 ) from MisBehaved Woman. In this particular post, the author posts a link from NPR’s Ira Glass about fostering your creativity and getting to it, that valuable stuff we’re looking to get to. Sometimes I fear it’s not there in me, so this kind of positive affirmation helps.
3. Healing Touch, from One Day at a Time: Thoughts on Getting Out of B.E.D. I am really struggling at work right now. “Fake it till you make it” is an old adage that has been working well for me in the last few years of my practice. I may not be as into something as I think I should be, but I can pretend I am and then I get there. Right now, it’s too much work to even pretend. I am mad that I have to pretend. I resent pretending, and I’m miserable right now. This blog post reminds me to not give my “feelings” too much power – they are only feelings, and those can be fleeting. Feelings change, and I won’t be in this position forever.
What do you think of these picks?! Are there any posts you’ve found this week that have inspired you? And check out the next installation next week!
Travelogue: Krakow – Best Place I Never Planned to Visit
10 years ago, my best friend gave me a beautiful gold and red journal that is almost sacred to me, so I don’t like writing just any old stuff in it. The first time I traveled solo, I took it with me to write about the adventure, and I’ve taken it on every trip since. Something I haven’t done before on this blog is to pull from those pages, share with you the things I thought, felt, experienced from my various trips, but today, thanks to a prompt about travel writing, I’m going to share one of them
Backstory: I have been part of the travel community Couchsurfing since 2007, and have made many friends all over the world on this site. (It has deteriorated severely since going public and becoming for-profit not long ago, but that’s a story for another time.) In 2009, the fine CSers of Krakow were hosting a couch crash, a several-day series of events and celebrations in one particular city. It’s just an excuse to travel, have fun, get to know cool CSers and a different city in a way you normally wouldn’t. My friend Denise was going to be passing Krakow for it, and, on a lark, I decided to meet her there. These are my notes from that trip. (This post is long, but worth it.):
Day One
Is there anything more delicious than the first shower after a few days? I think not.
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Untitled
I read a line from a fellow blogger’s post today, something written in response to the Daily Prompt. It was a short poem, but the last line of it really captured me:
“A day like no other begins like all others.”
This makes me think of all the special days in my life, how they all began the same way. Then, the day that is so rapidly approaching, the day for which I am so excited, my wedding day, will begin like all the others.
I am so excited for the wedding that I don’t feel like I can stand it. I was never one of those girls who dreamt about their weddings and had it all planned out, and in fact, we chose to have a destination wedding to make it easier to plan. Now I’m noticing that, as the time draws nearer, decisions I have been thinking about for months are being made. For example, all the RSVPs were due yesterday, and now we’ll have a better idea of who is coming to our destination wedding. Now, we can get to work getting them discounted rooms.
Which is all very good.
So I think about my wedding day and the days surrounding it, which will begin like all others, and I will be with my best friends and family in Disney World, a place where I’ve had so much fun playing with Cohiba, and finally marrying my Cohiba. Everyone of those days, as unique and pregnant with possibility as they are, will begin just like any other.
My Surprisingly Super and Sweet 16
In this past week’s Downton Abbey, as our dear Mr. Carson said, in the best quote of the episode, “The business of life is the acquisition of memories; in the end that’s all there is.” <sigh>
And to that end, I roast chestnuts over the memory fires about my 16th birthday. As it happens, I was not really deserving of the wonderful celebration and events around that year, which may even make them more special.
I am the “luckiest people”
The very first person I saw this morning, when I crawled over him to get a drink of water before going back to bed, was my Cohiba, my fiancé. When I came back, he curled back into me so sweetly, still dozing.
The Start of Something New
(This is my first attempt at writing in the Gonzo style. How did I do?)
I walked up the crumbling sidewalk outside a wall-less cafe on a busy corner of bright shops by a St. Maarten beach. Sprigs of grass jumping between the cracks of the sidewalk mimicked skinny black trees jutting through the clay roof of the cafe. I sat as a small white metal table. A distracted waitress with a Dutch accent brought “a coffe,” and calamari, hot and oily, and wrapped in wax paper in an orange waffle basket. I squirted thick dollop of peppery tomato sauce to one side.
I assure you, we’re open!
After lunch at work the other day, I escorting a a man in a wheelchair out of the building. During our trek, he was talking about the injury to his spine, but mentioned he could still walk “because I was an athlete and a Marine.” Since then, I’ve been marveling at how remarkable the human body is and especially what exercise does for someone.
Which makes me think of my hip. After the accident, my pelvis was shattered and reconstructed in a feat of orthopedic-magic. Seriously. Today, my ex-rays bring a crowd of nurses and doctors, because they can’t believe the work they did inside me. It’s like a museum in my pelvis.
I Didn't Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving 