I was reading an article about marital unhappiness from a behavioral economics perspective, that many people are unhappy in marriage because they are looking out. A “grass is greener” kind of thing. (Behavioral economics is about how people make choices, and is fascinating.)
After I shared article, a wise friend commented, “Compare and despair. You’ll never be “happy” with anything If you keep living life using the picture in your mind of how things should look.”
How simple and obvious, and how bad I am at it.
I’m so glad she wrote that; I am always thinking about “other.” If I’m with Wee One, I’m thinking about writing. (Or reading! I read a whole book yesterday – it was awesome!) When I’m with Cohiba, I’m thinking about other things. When I’m by myself, I’m thinking about “other.”
I habitually think about “other.” And it’s not working for me. It doesn’t being me joy or peace or wisdom. It amplifies my anxiety and makes my stomach hurt. So I need to knock that shit off.
Do you think of “other?”