I Didn't Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving
I Write To Understand. I Write To Stop Time
On Tuesday, my 17 month old was putting rocks in my hand. After about 10 or 11, they started falling, so she put new ones into my other hand. I thought about this post as I sat in the sprinkling rain and switched from watching her concentrating little face to watching the top rock in my full hand, barely balanced in place. It tipped to either side easily if I moved my hand, so precarious was its perch.
If we were having coffee, we would have a lot to catch up on, its been so long since we’ve met. There something coming up in the future, I tell you, something I can’t talk out and announce yet, but it will Change Things.
Just an overview of me.
A: AGE | 38
B: BIGGEST FEAR | Something bad happening to Wee One or Cohiba
If we were having coffee, I would talk to you about headaches I’ve been waking up with because I have a lot I’m thinking about. It’s like the weight of your thoughts literally feel like a weight; has that happened to you?
If we were having coffee, I would finally be able to tell you the Big News, the Change: We’re moving. I have talked about this before, but Cohiba took the job, and we are moving to Columbus, Ohio. It is bittersweet and hard, but we are doing it for family and Wee One, and it’s a great opportunity for our future.
But he left today! He has to go (ironically) to St. Louis (The city we moved from last year!) for training. I’m gonna miss him and it sucks. But Wee One and I have some fun stuff planned for this week, and I have an Mom’s Night Out planning for Friday.
Continue reading “Weekend Coffee Share #33 – So Much Adulting!”
I had an experience Monday that sent me back down a shame spiral; a spiral of despair and loneliness I haven’t felt in a long time. Am I being hyperbolic? Maybe, but I was really upset.
I am not going to go into the whole experience, but it was the kind of situation that I went to meet someone and they weren’t there. It was actually a comedy of errors with miscommunication and we did get together and have lunch, but I’m reflecting on the experience beforehand, in hopes of finding healing.
If we were having coffee, you would find me sitting outside in front of a computer. I’ve been focusing a lot on my writing lately, and today is no exception. Last weekend, I began trying to pinpoint my “voice” and I’ve been practicing with different styles of writing. I took a look at my blog, too, to see how or if it fit. One thing that struck me was the name of my blog: “Creo Somnium.” Sounds cool, right? Short, a little mysterious. Cooler than the original name: “I Didn’t Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving.”
“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” Stephen King
This quote becomes especially poignant on this, the day of my 20th high school reunion. I’m not there, obviously, but I wish I was. Every time I’m with someone from high school (except for My husband Cohiba (Have I told you we met in high school?)) I remember someone I used to be.
Mommy happy hour usually included boring vanilla lattes and ice cappuccinos, important as it masqueraded as a child’s story time. I was so lucky to stumble upon it and, once I started going, I made sure to keep going.
If we were having coffee, it would be quick and outside. The Wee One is with me, rather than with her father, like normal. Since today is Father’s Day, I’m letting Cohiba sleep in rather than doing it myself before we go out. Is that counter to what would seem logical? It works for us. Wee One is taking small sweet steps around the concrete wall, and I can hear her little moccasins tap on the pavement.
I Didn't Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving 