Weekend Coffee Share #12

~ Sahara ~ Leave a comment

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If we were having coffee, we would be meeting later than normal. Cohiba asked if I could take the Wee One during part of the morning, and so you and I arranged to meet in the afternoon. I offer to buy your coffee in thanks for your flexibility, but you wave me off.  Its warm enough that we can sit outside, in the sun. Cohiba was right about the winter being better here, I comment to you, thinking of my friends in the Midwest who can’t even think about going outside without the wind cutting their face.

There is a father daughter couple sitting next to us; they look like farmers or ranchers. Their boots are heavy and mud-encrusted,  and the brim of his hat is broad. Her jeans, though, are bejeweled around the pockets, which is incongruous with the muddy cuffs and army jacket. Incongruous, but it still works. “You go, girl,” I say quietly as they walk to their truck, and you laugh.

If we were having coffee, I would start to tell you about party planing I’m doing for Wee One’s first birthday. She turned 11 months yesterday! Ack! I had the hardest time coming up with a theme, but I have and I’m really happy about it.  Now I’m thinking about decorations and pictures I want to take.

I didn’t realize party planning could be so fun, though!  I think its because I’m celebrating something I love so much. I’m also trying to keep it inexpensive, so I’ve been trying to borrow a large number “1” for birthday photos a friend is taking. I haven’t been able to, though, so I’m going to draw something.  Do you think that will look stupid? I ask, afraid that homemade will look tacky.  Your mom did a lot of homemade stuff when you were little, you say, and you thought it worked.

Now that I think about it, my mom did a lot of homemade stuff, too, and I knew how much effort she put into it and felt special that she put so much consideration into the items. Making things for her is a way to put my love into action, I realize.

If we were having coffee, my birthday is coming up as well, you remind me, and ask if I]’m going to do anything special.  I can’t really think of anything yet, I tell you, though I did make up a birthday list, which I usually put off. Perhaps I’ll try to go to dinner with friends? You suggest going paint balling. Seriously? I ask. You went a few months ago, you say, and had a blast.  I think I want something a little more low-key.

I might fall back on an old favorite: having a mix Superbowl party and birthday party. I love the Superbowl, and it’s always around my birthday.  Would you come? I ask, and you wave your hand at me.  “I hate football,” you remind me, smiling.

There are two young kids couple sitting at a table next to us leaning on each other’s laps, looking at their phones, and kissing. We giggle and we try not to stare as we gather our belongings to leave. Oh, we remember those days well, and are glad they’re past.

52/52 Challenge For 2016

~ Sahara ~ 5 Comments

This is an annual exercise I’ve done since 2014 in which I set goals for myself for the next year. A lot like New Years Resolutions, this is just like a vision board for my next year.  In 2014, it was The 36/36 Challenge (36 because I started it late in the year) and last year, it was The 51/51 Challenge (51 because I got it out a week late.)

This one was hard to write, which really surprised me. I had a hard time thinking of new things I want to get into, but that may be because I’m still a new SAHM mother and so involved with the Wee One.

Though I’m getting this one out late in the year, I’m still applying it to all 52 weeks because I have begun doing things in the challenge.

Continue reading “52/52 Challenge For 2016” →

Top 10 Best Doctor Who Monologues

~ Sahara ~ 6 Comments

I’m a Whovian, and I’ve been rewatching the series.  Not really closely, ’cause I’ve been with the Wee One, but I’m preparing to watch Cipaldi’s doctor, the 13th. (I know; I’m behind the times.)

As I rewatch it, I’m reminded of the monologues that gave me shivers the first time I heard them, and that I still go back to hear again. They reflect details of the Doctor’s history and add meaning to already interesting characters.

  1. “He was being kind.” At minute 1:40, it starts.

2. “He’s like fire and ice and rage.” This story arc is my favorite, as I’m sure I’ve said before, and there are several good speeches from it.  This is just a few lines at the beginning of the clip, but with the background score its powerful.

3. “Will they thank you?” Start at 0:44. This isn’t a monologue, really, but the delivery of this character, Baines.  I don’t think he blinks once and the way his volume fluctuates is powerful.

4. “Let someone else try first.” The speech starting at 0:40. It took me several viewings of the 11th Doctor’s stories to buy into them, but over time, I have come to appreciate that Matt Smith is a masterful speech maker.

5. “If I believe in one thing, I believe in her!” The Doctor is communicating with a mute Satan, so it’s just him talking. I couldn’t find a clip with the whole speech, and this is just the last part, but it’s cool.

6. “I watched it happen; I MADE it happen!” Again, this isn’t technically a monologue, but it’s basically Eccleston talking to a trash can with a whisk, and he carries the scene. When I first started watching Doctor Who, I started with his season and gave up many times because it seemed so hard to take seriously. This episode and this scene in particular is what really hooked me.

7. Start at 1:55. The Bill Nighy speech about Van Gogh ranking as an artist. It was beautifully written, and especially so moving because of the actor who played Van Gogh – he was fantastic, and watching him, you really got a sense of his agony and the majesty and pain of the person, so you have an idea of what the words meant to him. It’s one of the better stories, in my humble opinion, of Smith’s tenure.

8. Rose Tyler – The Parting of the Ways “You don’t just give up. You don’t just let things happen. You make a stand. You say “no.””

9. It’s just a few lines, but the Jack Harkness speech in The Parting of The Ways.

Jack: Rose…you are worth fighting for. [kisses her passionately, turns to the Doctor] Wish I’d never met you, Doctor. I was much better off as a coward. [kisses him as well] See you in hell.

10. Martha’s “Bones of the Hand” dialogue with Nurse Joan Redfern. It was good to watch Martha stand up for herself against someone who doubted her capability.

Martha: Human. Don’t worry. And more than that, I just don’t follow him around. I’m training to be a doctor. Not an alien doctor, a proper doctor. A doctor of medicine. Joan: Well that certainly is nonsense. Women might train to be doctors, but hardly a skivvy and hardly one of your color. Martha: Oh, do you think? Bones of the hand. Carpal bones, proximal row. Scaphoid, lunate, triquetal, pisiform. Distal row. Trapezium, trapezoid, capitate, hamate. Then the metacarpal bones extending in three distinct phalanges. Proximal, middle, distal. Joan: You read that in a book. Martha: Yes, to pass my exams!

Other Whovians out there? What do you think?

Weekend Coffee Share #11

~ Sahara ~ 2 Comments

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If we were having coffee, we would settle into our usual spots, noticing, for the first time, there are people we have seen in the weeks prior. They are regulars, as we are, and this makes us feel good. We smile at the “regular” label. After we settle with our drinks, I pull out a long glass bottle: homemade Irish cream, a Christmas gift from a friend.  Isn’t this such a unique idea? I ask. I love Irish cream and its good, if not a little rough.

I tried to take the Wee One hiking this week, I tell you, because the weather was really nice where I live.  It was not so nice, however, at the site of the park, less than 20 miles away.  This take some getting used to: living in the mountains and how different things are at different elevations, even when the difference doesn’t seem that great.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I had a bit of a rough week and some anxious thoughts. I wonder if I need to go back to counseling. I’m annoyed by it, frankly, because its fucking work that I don’t want to have to do. It certainly wouldn’t hurt, you point out, and I agree. I also think that becoming involved with a faith community would help as well. I reached out to a couple of friends about it.

Cohiba has been sick and staying away from the Wee One, so I haven’t been able to sleep in or get some time away from her recently. Fortunately, her sleep schedule is better than it’s ever been. She’s taking two solid naps a day and I think she’s sleeping longer in the early morning. Even better, she’s starting to entertain herself in her crib, giving me a bit more time if I need it.

She’s also started humming when I sing and rock her to sleep.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about meeting with another mother and having a girls night: wine and movies. It was a really good time and the first I’ve had since the Wee One was born. We tried watching Pitch Perfect. Your eyes light up and you start to chatter about how much you love it.  I wasn’t so into it, but maybe I need to see it from the beginning.  “Oh, you totally do,” I hear a voice from behind me.  I turn, and see one of the barista’s cleaning the table behind me.  “Sorry to eavesdrop, but I love that movie.  I recommend you give it another chance.” You talk with her about your favorite parts, and I lean over to get the bottle from my bag. May as well finish off the Irish cream.

 

Screwtape Scribbles Again

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This article, “A Screwtape Letter For The Unappreciated Mom,” is one of the best things I’ve read in a long time. It almost seems like Jack wrote it, because it’s so well in keeping with the style of the book.

Some of the better, more convicting (right now) passages for me include:

“A tired Mom makes for a more emotional Mom, and an emotional Mom is a vulnerable one.” Today has been a difficult day.  Just one of those challenging ones when my faults seem to stand out and anxious thoughts and self-doubts snowball.

“We must convince her that her husband is no longer the friend and ally she first married.  Instead, we must reveal every sin and selfish habit, especially drawing attention to his thoughtless actions (mal-intended or not) against her.” And, unfortunately, I took it out of him today.  😦

“Secondly, do what you can to keep her focused on her troubles and pains.” I am ashamed to think about some of the self-centered comments I’ve made to Cohiba that sound once he plays them back to me!

“Along those lines, be sure the Mother starts to value productivity above everything else.” My house… Looks like the house with a baby in it.

Today was just a hard day.

Tomorrow will be better.

 

Weekend Coffee Share #10

~ Sahara ~ 4 Comments

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If we were having coffee, our greeting hug would be long. Its been about a month since we’ve seen each other, and had the holidays and a lot of life in that time.

We’re meeting in a different place-an almost quintessential Seattle coffeehouse, in an A-frame with fresh flowers peeking out of odd corners and colorful art of winter animals-and we’re torn with the desire to look around and take in the environment.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that the trip home wasn’t as relaxing as I had hoped, and I’m happy to be back in my own place. Things were tense with my own family, and you raise an eyebrow to hear that. Your mother? you guess, and I happily tell you that she and I seem to be back on track right now.  No, its someone else, and it was just tense. There was even one time I was afraid some of the trouble would be directed at my Wee One, so my mama hackles were up. I just hate when people are dicks, I say. Why do people have to be fucking dicks? You laugh at me in sympathy.

There was also that flooding and snow in the Midwest, which jacked up my flights and added to the already stressful prospect of flying with the baby. When we were with Cohiba’s family, though, he and I got to go out alone a few times, and that was nice. But I’m glad to be home and back to my routine with the Wee One. I didn’t even realize that we were so much in a routine until we got out of it.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I got together with couch surfers! I haven’t seen these guys in so long. One of them is living in London, another lives in Costa Rica, another is recently married and pregnant, another just got back from living in Colorado, and another is getting treated for testicular cancer. Life, you know? But I was looking around the table and reflecting on the stories and memories I have with them all. Going home is good for that.

A couple at the table next to us is playing a tabletop game and they shuffle their deck of cards for the 10th time. Her hair and makeup are really well done, and we wonder if its a date.

If we were having coffee, we would talk about our upcoming plans for the year.  Not quite resolutions, but having the holidays behind us gives us the chance to think about the future without getting overwhelmed by immediate requirements. I plan to play the Seattle tourist, I say, and mention that I already went to the Seattle Art Museum to see a special Impressionism exhibit. I took the Week One because I know how important these next few years are to her neural development. I want to give her the best chance I can.10404183_10207177316942771_5304723161811167534_n

I’m planning to take her to a skiing lodge tomorrow.  I mean, Cohiba is going skiing with friends, and I’m going with them with the Wee One.  They just had a baby as well, and I’ll watch them both.  I have absolutely no desire to ski – Cohiba has tried! – but I want to see our friends and the mountains and, who knows? Maybe I’ll change my mind.

But I don’t think so.

 

 

 

 

10 Best Things About Traveling Solo With A Baby

~ Sahara ~ 3 Comments

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This one is going to be hard to write.

The Wee One and I are flying to be with my folks over the Christmas holiday, and then flying to be with Cohiba’s family over and into the New Year. This is not normally how we do holidays, but this is the way it has to happen this year. She and I leave on Friday, and I’m quite anxious about the trip out.  In light of that, today’s Top 10 Tuesday focuses on the good things about being alone with a baby when traveling (flying).

Because, flying with a baby, even with a partner, is a feat.

Continue reading “10 Best Things About Traveling Solo With A Baby” →

Travels with Textiles

~ Sahara ~ Leave a comment

At the Ren Fair, my character spins yarns – either stories, real wool carding and spinning, or knitting.

We encounter and enter our richest, most humanly defining experiences by way of a tear in the fabric of things, because we are running late, or because we recognize, across a crowded room, a face whose lack of perfection allows a unique light to shine through and to stir us with uncommon wonder. – Eugene Kennedy

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This was my garb the first year. The chemise and bodice were linen and heavier than I thought they would be.

Doing this allowed me to travel back in time, figuratively, and imagine if that were my daily life. I could feel the linen on my shoulders and scratch my neck, and smell the dank tufts of sheep’s wool.

Travel theme chosen by Where’s My Backpack?

Weekend Coffee Share #9

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If we were having coffee, you would be late and practically pushed in the door from the strength of the wind behind you. Is the wind always this strong in the winter? I ask you, and you shake your head and keep walking to the counter.  You return with a croissant and coffee, and talk a bit about Christmas shopping. I’m preparing to travel, I tell you, so I haven’t been making many purchases – I’ll have to fly with it all!

I’m going to be on the road for a couple of weeks, and I’m going to miss Washington. You aren’t planning to leave the region, maybe go to Oregon, because a lot of people who live here are from Oregon. That is only one place on my list of places to visit while I live out here, I tell you, and you invite me for a visit with your family anytime. I want to go to Montana, Northern California and retrace steps I took in high school to the northwestern point on Washington and Tatoosh island.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about being a Seattle tourist and going to Pike Place Market. It was a lot of fun and not as far or hard to get to as I thought it would be.  Perhaps I am used to Mid-Western distances, but it used to take me 30ish minutes to drive to work every morning (and then a half hour back, or, if I took the bus, a 30 minute walk to and from the bus stop, plus an hour to the city), so driving 30 minutes to the Market or 20 minutes to story time in another town is nothing. Even with the horrible traffic – and it really does suck – its not that bad.

Ooh! But I saw one of the tent cities I’d heard about! I tell you, and you make a face of confusion. It seems that the city of Seattle actually allows homeless people to build up “tent cities” to live in.  St. Louis doesn’t officially permit tent cities, though they line the river bank, particularly on the south side of the city. I remember visiting a few of them on the north side, about where they want to build the new football stadium right now. My agency had a Mobile Outreach team and I went with them to visit some of the folks living in the tents.  We brought boxes of sandwiches and bottles of water, and checked in with people. A few people asked specific questions about vet representatives or clothing giveaways. They were working on getting their lives back together, though they were living off the grid.

If we were having coffee, we would each comment on how much we’ll miss meeting over the next few weeks and wonder if we could Skype? Or just text messages. This makes me think of a conversation I had with some friends last night. Some of us were in St. Louis, I was in Seattle, another one of us was in Costa Rica, and the other was in London. It was so cool for all of us to be chatting together in real time.

We’re going to meet for Sunday brunch after Christmas. We all used to be travel buddies, traveling together or visiting people and places based on each other’s recommendation. Now two of us are married, two are living abroad, and I have the Wee One. Oh, the places we’ve gone! It’ll be fun.

We part, eager to return with stories and insights.