I Didn't Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving
I Write To Stop Time
I feel like I need to write tonight. Maybe an early Weekend Coffee Share. Maybe a Weekend White Claw share. (A WC share. Don’t mock; it’s a light something to drink in the summer.)
Fireworks are going off around me, and I kind of feel bad. When I was in the hospital for my gallbladder a few years ago, it was on July 3rd and 4th. I was on a floor for pre-op patients, but they also brought brought up patients in psychiatric crisis, too.
Continue reading “Fireworks”I was looking back in my post archives, and came across this list, this travel bucket list. My ultimate places to go. I probably wrote this pre-2008 because, as you can see, I have done a few things. The italics are the old list.
The equator. Stand on both sides of it. See if water swirls in the opposite direction in the Southern Hemisphere.
What does it smell like in the Sistine Chapel? (TM Goodwill Hunting)
Ferry from Spain to Morocco.
Visit the Kilns and see where C.S. Lewis is buried.
Auschwitz
Northern Lights
Montana
Maine. Maybe go to Northeastern most post.
UP (Michigan)
Scotland
Italy
Boston
Things changed once I had Wee One (WO), and then again after COVID. Pre-COVID, Cohiba had to travel, often every week or every other week. I hated it. And pre-COVID, if we didn’t have WO, we wanted to go to places the farther out, the better. Hopefully some place I’ve never been.
I was in Missouri in May for the Central Missouri Renaissance Fair, (I got my COVID vaccines and feel comfortable having WO outside with people), and it felt so exotic. I haven’t traveled in so long. We got an air BnB in St. Louis for a few days, saw some friends, my folks, and some sights, then the fair. As my friends, Denise, Amy, and I were meeting with our kids (we are all couch surfers from way back and are new mothers now), we talked about traveling and where we might want to go, now that we’re vaccinated.
Our lists seemed so little. Like I’ll go back to St. Louis this year. Or they could come around me now in Ohio. Or like, go to Iowa City, where Denise and I had surfed before. It was so different from how it had been, and not just because of the kids. COVID has changed so much, and we have changed as we’ve responded to it.
How about you? Are you looking at things differently?
I got some news tonight. It might be nothing, it might be something.
With apologies for being so vague, I’m not ready to share the details. But it manifested itself in one of those phone calls/conversations that comes with News. News that can Change Things. Hopefully, you only have a handful of those in your life. Conversations that draw a line between Before and After.
Continue reading “Did You Color My Lenses?”Today, I got back from a week long trip back to Missouri with Wee One (WO). We visited some people, including my folks, and then went to a Renaissance Fair out there with some friends – things we haven’t done since Before Times. It was awesome. She quickly made friends from other reenacting families, and I could hear her delighted laughter from across the field.
On our trip, we stayed in different hotels and one air BnB, bed sharing the whole time. We are not strangers to bed sharing, though once she started sleeping in her own room, we haven’t slept together save a few family slumber parties.
Continue reading “Sleeping with Wee One”The questions come so fast I can barely collect them.
“Mama?” (She always begins with the question, “Mama?” Even if she’s already talking to me. She just has to get my attention special for the next comment.) “What does fair and square mean?”
Continue reading “Why, Indeed?”An update to a previous post, “On the Edge of Two Eternities.”
Flashback: Bike rides and summer days. My dad’s trumpet. Climbing the trees in my backyard. Moving to a different part of town for high school, feeling like I was telling the story from 90210. Marching band, and cool football night air on my cheeks sunburned from a week of afternoon practices. A threatening interaction before college, a direct result of my dad’s shit. Car accident, coma, hard work and a triumphant return to building a life. Dad was cheating again in a way that threatened to put me out of school. This time, for the first time, I have the power to stop him from hurting me, and I do. He hasn’t talked to me since. I get closer to God and deal with health issues stemming from the accident. I backpack in England and Poland, and get a Master’s degree while working full-time. A trombone player from that high school marching band finds me and we marry, happy to have someone to sit with. We have a little girl, the most magical being we can imagine. We have an adventure in Seattle before moving to Ohio. I get my hip replaced and fall in love with Muay Thai.
“In any weather, at any hour of the day or night, I have been anxious to improve the nick of time, and notch it on my stick too; to stand on the meeting of two eternities, the past and future, which is precisely the present moment; to toe that line.” H.D. Thoreau
Flash forward
I am blessed enough to get pregnant again, so I decide to homeschool our daughter until she can get a COVID vaccine or until the baby is born, whichever comes first. We all get vaccinated and can see my mother again, and I can go back to Ren Fair. I keep raising out kids and creating as I can, particularly a social justice movement in Columbus. Finally, we buy land in the Wenatchee forest to be back close to Seattle. We build a small home, explore the mountains and read together under the trees.
In the Northern Hemisphere, in the US, things have been fucked up all year, by which I mean 2021. (It was supposed to be better than 2020!) It sucks.
Those of you living on the North American continent are aware know how cold it’s been this winter, yeah? And, I don’t know about you, but our ground has been covered with snow for longer than I have, I think, ever seen. And least, in my remembered history.
And you know how I feel about winter. Well, I have Wee One (WO). Am I going to deprive my child of the chance to frolic in the snow because I am an old curmudgeon? No. I’ll put on my big girl panties (and base layer and wool sweater) and go out with her.
I’ve been having a lot of fun. I got proper snow pants in preparation for time outside with her, and waterproof gloves, so I’m considerably drier and warmer and I can sit down. I’ve been outside twice as much this month as I was in February last year. (The two years I’ve been keeping track. Tryin’ to get WO outside for 1000 hours this year.)
Today, February 1st, is Imbolc. St. Brigid’s Day. In Gaelic tradition, it marks the beginning of spring.
February 2nd, tomorrow, is my birthday. I have always hated it.
Continue reading “When The Up Side Tips, and We Slide Down”This week is the last week before Wee One’s (WO) winter break. We’re halfway through kindergarten. Phew!
Continue reading “Serendipity”I just finished watching Little Women, the more recent one. Oh, now my heart.
The 1995 one was very dear to me, and watching this one made me remember when I saw the old one-what life was like then and how different it is now.
I’m also watching it with the eyes of a mother, and the eyes of someone who has now seen 25 years pass. It’s bittersweet, and I cried ugly when Beth died.
Continue reading “Thoughts Upon Watching The Most Recent Little Women”
I Didn't Just Wake Up This Morning With A Craving 