I am sharing a link to this article because I don’t know that I’ve ever read it put into better words, the way it feels, or rather, the way it feels for me now: The abandonment and abuse of my birth father. I wonder about him and if and how I tie into his family. Can I lose something I don’t know if I had?

…that is the most terrifying thing she has ever learned. If the only man she ever truly needed left when she was not done needing him, it is fair game for anyone else to decide it’s not worth it. For anyone else to decide she’s not worth it.

“Always have a back door” was been my unofficial motto, like, forever. Never be trapped. Never be in a place that I can not handle or get out of on my own.  Even after marriage, the lack of trust still crops up, sadly.

Here’s a link that works.