If you don’t click on the link, I’ll summarize the gist of the list: Brains can grow, no matter what. Praise effort, hard work, remind yourself and your kid that mistakes are how we grow and and change is possible. To be positive.
Dick. You should have slowed down more. I thought you were slowing down more. I thought you had seen me and were slowing down to turn and let me go and were just doing that rolling slow thing. Then I realized you fucking weren’t and were even gonna speed up. Fuck.
Over night has been rainy, but it’s now dry enough to sit on the pathway in my neighborhood. It’s chilly for August. I’m in long sleeves.
My daughter just called me, but I think she got distracted. We went on a search for mud this morning; my headache demands an outing with little exertion.e
Now she’s sitting under a tree, digging. She’s wearing a new dress we got yesterday that is, miraculously, not really getting dirty. What a good play dress.
There’s a horse farm across the street, but they have corn growing this year, too. When I look up over the fields, the broad leafed trees behind them and a mist settling on them, I always get lost in imagining flying over them or being surrounded by them. Like that bird calling right now.
It has been 23 years since the accident. 23 years, today. What a 23 years.
Now she wants me to shake bush limbs over her head to pretend it’s raining on her. Those grey clouds tell me real rain is coming again.
Last week, as I was driving with Wee One, she heard me smack at a small bug that had flown into the car. She asked why, and I told her I was trying to kill an insect. She suggested that I shouldn’t because bats eat insects. I said it was a great idea and we should get a bat in the car to get the bug. She said, “Mom. Bats are nocturnal.”
I knew this, of course, and so I have really curbed my language these 4+ years, especially around my kid. But curbing my language doesn’t mean I say nothing, and today she showed me just how much she’s picked up.
For the past four years and nine months, I have been anxious and worried and freaking out about how I would handle having a baby and then a toddler. All that talk about terrible twos and the threenager threat. I was so worried about being a good mother to her during that time.
We all wanted the same thing, and I was one of the first ones taken off the rack. A brand new scrunchy. Like the others, I was white decorated with a red emblem. I was edged with a fine, though lengthy, lace trim. A woman bought me and took me to her home. I was so excited to see the world.