Mistakes Can Make The Best Teachers

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. -Albert Einstein

Describe the best mistake you’ve made and all the things you’ve learned from that mistake.

Well, I think I’ve said before, I don’t necessarily believe in mistakes because everything that has happened in my life has culminated in me being here right now in this place, and its good.

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I have a funny and embarrassing story about this that I’ll tell you soon. I promise.

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Hello! Opportunity Is Here Knocking!

The sure way to miss success is to miss the opportunity. Victor Chasles

Write about the best opportunity you’ve been given and how you made the most of that opportunity.

The best opportunity I have been given was services with Missouri Vocational Rehabilitation. Voc rehab is a program run through the state department of education, and it is one that is meant to help people with disabilities live and work independently.

In the early days after the car accident and coma, when I was in rehab for head injury, I was offered the chance to apply for assistance through that program. At the time, though, I was so scared of being “damaged,” that I didn’t even want to acknowledge what was going on with me. I was fine. It was fine. I could handle it. Just let me get back to school and it’ll be fine. That was my mindset.

Acceptance was hard to come by.

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See Something, Say Something

A friend of mine (shout out to Tory – Minneapolis in the house!) told me a story about a college party she attended: a girl was passed out on the couch and several of the guys were surrounding her. They weren’t doing anything bad, but my friend wasn’t going to take the chance. She got over by the couch and yelled really loudly until this girl’s hapless friends came around and she got out. She said the girl was mad at her, and maybe nothing would have happened, but I’m impressed that my friend had the courage to step in like that.

She saw something, and she said something.

Last Monday, she texted us about a puppy had been locked in a car for about an hour with the windows up. She called the police for help.

She saw something, and she said something. This girl is a badass, in my book.

I was listening to a story on public radio and the speaker referenced a theory about a relationship between domestic violence (something of which the Orlando shooter had a history) and mass shootings.

I remember hearing a story about my own parents: it was at an outdoor church function that they both attended. At one point, mom had done something that displeased my father and he grabbed her by the neck and pushed her up against the church wall. After he left, a friend of our family rushed up to her. Mom pleaded with her friend to do and say nothing, that this was how it “had to be.”

Would I have the courage to speak up if I saw something?

The See Something Say Something campaign is led by the Department of Homeland Security, but the phrase itself is also used in such things as bullying or domestic violence. (This excellent article gives tips in doing just that).

Have you done it before? How did it go?

 

The Body Remembers

I had an experience Monday that sent me back down a shame spiral; a spiral of despair and loneliness I haven’t felt in a long time.  Am I being hyperbolic? Maybe, but I was really upset.

I am not going to go into the whole experience, but it was the kind of situation that I went to meet someone and they weren’t there. It was actually a comedy of errors with miscommunication and we did get together and have lunch, but I’m reflecting on the experience beforehand, in hopes of finding healing.

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Pearls Before Swine

I Can’t Stay Mad at You

Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?

My abusive birth father doesn’t know about the Wee One. His first grandchild, and he doesn’t know – we haven’t talked in 14 years. In the past, the few times we did talk, I was resentful of him and the years of abuse, but I was also hopeful for reconciliation. Then, when his current wife was reaching out to me, (a really fucking interesting series of conversations there),

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What It Means To Have A Child With A Girl Without A Father

Awhile ago I reblogged a post on what it means to date a girl without a father, and I think there needs to be a follow up article on what it means to have a child with a woman without a father. Just like its tricky to date one, its tricky to start a family with one.

Here’s what you need to know:

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What It Means To Date A Girl Without A Father

I am sharing a link to this article because I don’t know that I’ve ever read it put into better words, the way it feels, or rather, the way it feels for me now: The abandonment and abuse of my birth father. I wonder about him and if and how I tie into his familyCan I lose something I don’t know if I had?

…that is the most terrifying thing she has ever learned. If the only man she ever truly needed left when she was not done needing him, it is fair game for anyone else to decide it’s not worth it. For anyone else to decide she’s not worth it.

“Always have a back door” was been my unofficial motto, like, forever. Never be trapped. Never be in a place that I can not handle or get out of on my own.  Even after marriage, the lack of trust still crops up, sadly.

Here’s a link that works.

Thought Catalog

Shutterstock / Irina BgShutterstock / Irina Bg

It will not seem different at first. You will do the things all new couples do: joke and share silly stories. Laugh louder than you ever anticipated. Laugh harder. You get drunk off fingertips and innocent touches, like when she lingers on your shoulder for just a beat longer. She kisses you like you are the first person she has ever kissed, and it will keep you up at night, in the best way possible. Everything is fun and exciting. She will do whatever she can to make sure it is fun. She needs it to be fun. Exciting. Light. She knows darkness already too well.

She will be careful in her words. You notice she never says “parents” and looks away when someone mentions their father. You are consumed with a strange, irrational guilt when you answer a phone call from your dad. It feels…

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