Over the years in social work training and practice, I have become a pretty good communicator, except when it comes to you. Maybe it’s because our time together has been so emotional and dramatic, for lack of a better word. We’ve been through shit together.
Something you have often said encapsulates the reason why: “My mouth gets me into trouble.” I’ve tried to bring things up before that you’ve said that have bothered me, and you say the magic phrase: “my mouth gets me into trouble.” Something like, “See! My mouth gets me into trouble! I should just keep my mouth shut!”
Your mouth gets you into trouble? Your mouth? Do you mean to tell me you have a magical independent-from-your-body facial feature that I somehow missed these past 30+ years? You have no control-or responsibility-over what comes out of your mouth? Where did you get it, because I want one.
This “not taking responsibility” thing is the problem. It means I can’t tell you when things you’ve done have bothered me. You’ve not going to take responsibility for it, and you might go on the offensive and say hurtful things to me. Moreover, the behavior won’t change, or if it does, it comes with a passive-aggressive commentary.
I think it also means you don’t tell me when I bother you, either, which sucks. I want to know when I’ve stepped over the line so I don’t do it again! I love you and don’t want to hurt you! We need to be able to tell each other that stuff!
For the millionth and never-last time: I love you.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Dear Mom.”